Living a Big Lie
Living one great big lie
Is much more important
Than the fact of you and I
For by doing what you
oughtn't
You have now twisted
Your mind's perception
And thus have enlisted
Help with your deception
Habits you have employed
Which you've pretended
Are in the past & not enjoyed
Which you've now tended
To - in front of me, as though
It does not matter anymore
Because we've shared pillows
And thus - I should - you adore
It does not work quite like this
For you have lied about a part
Of your life - which you've missed
And do not wish to give up the dark
Now you want me to accept this side
As though I must because I desire
When I really want to run and hide
Away from this near funeral pyre
On top of which you've thrown
A tarpaulin stained with paint
Onto which you want now sown
The list of "I must do's" chained
Well, kiddo ... it's time to pull apart
From this heavy wagon filled to brim
Full of reachings to my laden heart
For now you see me as out on a limb
And the tree will not support my weight
Unless you are indeed there to brace it well
But you are wrong, kiddo ... I have great
Power to support myself and do it swell
I do not have to put up with your cajoling
As I can do it all with only my own whip
And regardless of your immense scolding
I have it all within me to run out to the tip
---------------------------------------------------
So consider this - you now have free rein
To do whatever you wish to body & brain
Smoke up a storm - give yourself cancer
Treat yourself to the very best life-dancer
Then drink your wine and beer till you drown
Just don't expect me to pick up pieces around
You - as you flail so very blindly at the thin air
For I will not be there to support you as you stare
Blankly at the universe from behind rosy eyes
Which see only the ground and never the sky
Drink yourself to death as you suck on your weed
Just please don't ask me to be around you -
for I am the one who will surely bleed
- tristram
2pm Saturday November 8th, 1997