Beyond Fantasy



There are many ups and downs through life

Which cause us joy, pain, even a little strife

But we can sort thru them all with patience

And as we do so - make them make sense



We look back to see the twists and turns

Coming to a realization of the scars and burns

Quite small things which have aggravated us ....

Now fall into columns of minus and plus



And then we tally both sides of our list

Considering carefully the hits and miss

And when we do, we see numbers large

Upon the side where we rode our barge



And we consider carefully the journey taken

As we seethe in anger, feeling what's shaken

And then look and understand the lesson

Realizing it's come about with blessings



They are hidden tho' - under unseen tears

Shed by eyes which hide deeper fears

We want to care so very much we hurt

And yet - part of us closes, sealing in dirt



- We threw in upon large black boxes

Into which we had thrown our losses

Never wanting to visit their contents

Which are covered with good intent



The kind which opened up our hearts

As we busied ourselves holding parts

- Together which had loosened a few bolts

As we were flustered by what we'd been told



And then - we open up our arms to new passion

Giving out intensity from eyes which stashed 'em

Willing to give of ourselves totally and completely

Until interruptions made us crawl back within "me"



And then we close down and pretend we did not feel

Even though we know damned well we were not steel

As another warm soul had gotten underneath our skin

And made us feel as though as tho' our shell were tin



So we ran along the pathway for a very short while

Feeling the yards - yet pretending they were miles

And when we got so close and ready to jump ...

The vault became higher and so out we dumped!



Fear of loving too hard separated mind from heart

And so we pulled back, not wanting a new start ...

Willing to pass by the wonder of unbridled passion

For the price was too high, too out of our fashion



- The style we had evolved into over short months

As we became our own person and not stumped

By the pattern which had been ours before ...

Which daily had made our heads quite sore



And then - another situation had come along

Saturated with warmth and much good song

And we floated along on the surf of the tide

Pretending all along we had nothing to hide



But we knew deep down there were things

Small matters which had their own rings

And we chose not to address them at first

Wanting everything to be without thirst



And then we found we had come to an impasse

For some things wounded and we felt the last

Stretch around our hearts as we grew up fast

For the fantasy which we'd created had passed!



Copyright Christopher Wyndham Thomas

2pm Sunday October 5th, 1997