This morning there came to me a quiet revelation

So many wonderful people throughout the nation

Had left cookies and milk on the table near hearth

Which I couldn't resist, so scoffed them down hard



And now it will take me at least a year to recoup

As I'll have to work hard on the stairmaster to lose

All the extra weight I've now put on in just one night

It became difficult to get the reindeer to take flight 



Donner, Prancer, Dancer, Comet, Rudolph and Blixen

Dasher, and my favoritest one of all - cute little Vixen

All had to work so hard at pulling the extra weight

Which all the cookies and milk had added - my fate



And now I shall have to spend a year working it off

Or next time around, I'll get stuck in a chimney top

Then all the little boys and girls will not get their stuff

And the name of Santa Claus will be at once scoffed



So, please, people - be considerate next time around

Don't fill me so with cookies and milk to make me round 

For if I get too big - someone else will have to fill in ...

Then there might not be so many smiles on our chins

 

- Tristram Santa ...

10am The Day after Christmas 97