Tears of loneliness ...

Set against a blue-grey-rippled azure half-night sky

Looking up - seeing the reality of no more you and I

Tears clutch at my heart as gold bands appear in dusk

And the yellowness in my pallor attests to the gritty rust

Which has now enveloped my soul and made me so frail

For you have placed a separateness between us so pale



And the sky is a reflection of things which've come to be

An evolution of hearts which sang before there were three

A wonderfully-warm and beauteous but eminently sad tale

Of a love begun in a spring from crystal-clear water hailed

Which was borne from clouds which glistened in the trees

As we flew so high there was nothing to stop us - no breeze



As there is now, even icy winds which do chill my hands ...

And the coldness of the dark sky pierces me where I stand  

As tears caused by the cold both from within and without

Freeze upon my lips and nose and make me want to shout

There is abundant goodness in so much of things we shared

And skies which blanketed us with oranges and reds glared

 

But that was so long ago - moments have come and gone

And constant communication lacked - to sustain our song

As layers of dark clouds now hang over the hazy meadow

And the darkness sears my heart as I strain so to follow ...

The lovely dark terrier you have chosen upon me to bestow

Who now is the only one who keeps me together to blow



Away the sadness I feel about having played a game I lost

Which was begun upon a willingness we both had to toss

The myriad of forces which opposed us from the very start

A concoction of billowy clouds filled with heavy rain in parts

And yet we went on driving hard against these dark winds

Loving so fully - our hearts pretended our souls could win



It was a dangerous game which we both knew at the top

As rainbow-colored skies showered upon us without stop

And umbrellas protected us from the harshness of reality

The hail which rained upon us attested to there being three

Now you have gone from me and enjoined your other half

Leaving me so alone to cry in the rains which fill my bath



And now I gaze at the ceiling of eye-ball lights which sear

My brain with the brightness I try so hard to turn into cheer

But the water surrounding me quickly turns into a salty pool

For the pain you have given me has turned me into a fool

As I have loved you with all of my heart, soul and being

But you saw it not - as for you - there was not the feeling



Which so loosened me - I held you in my so-tight grasp

And then whispered so often my love for you - no task

As I waited for you to repeat those very same short words

Once or twice they came back quietly - almost unheard

And I knew you were holding back, not telling me all

But I glossed over it - not wanting to press you to wall



And now - as I look up and see the sky has opened up

As azure clouds have disappeared and there is much

Brightness peeking through the trees right down to lake

And my soul is all ablaze for you had it within you to take

But you strangled it and then - mangled - you gave it back

And now I sit here alone under clouds which have no pact



For the sky which was interleaved with gold streaks above

Became a symbol of the intensity and warmth of our love

And now - it's gone - and that very same sky is so bleak

For you've kept from me that which you needed to speak 

And the darkness which you kept covered under your skin

Has now appeared in the dawn sky replete with the sin ...



Christopher W. Thomas

8:08am Sat 12/20/97