Subject: An Even Longer Night
From: Christopher W. Thomas (
Date: Fri Dec 25, 1998 at 7:00PM

An Even Longer Night

The end of a long day and an even longer night
During which was experienced a terrible fright
For there was quite a commotion around three or so
As the sound of grunts came from the hearth below

Moving briskly in the direction of the awful sounds
An even greater surprise was then to be found
For hanging down from the chimney hollow ...
Was one black patent leather boot bestowed

It had gotten caught on some sharp stone edges
And was just barely attached to the metal flue ledges
But its wearer had completely lost hold of the garment
As his bare-socked foot just dangled higher on cement

Close by was the other boot still covering the second limb
And I knew at once what had happened ... it was him!!!
The man with the funny red suit and the long white beard ...
Had gotten stuck on a gutter pipe jammed up under ... weird!!!

Which I'd put there a few weeks ago to seal off the chimney
As several squirrels had been nesting there ... jimminy!!!
They''d been using the fiberglass insulation as their bed
Covering it with twigs and nuts so they'd be better fed

And then they'd fallen through one after other into hearth
Disturbing me one day when I came down from my bath
(Had a devil of a time getting the blighters out of the house
As they'd led me on a merry chase all over and about ...)

Finally got them both out the door after one hell of a struggle
Using heavy gloves to protect my hands so they couldn't nibble
And then the fiberglass was jammed well up there with the pipe
Forgetting then ... it might be a problem - when came last night

Well ... let me tell you ... it was quite a riotous scene
To have this big fat man stuck about even with the beams
But try as I may ... try as I might ... could not get him loose right
Finally we both gave up trying ... to get him past the gutter pipe

But I did manage to boost him back up to his sleigh and reindeer
Which he'd parked precariously on the edge of the very top tier
As he cracked his whip and shook the reins to fly on to next place
I caught the bright blush in his cheeks ... and a faint smile on his face

And as the sleigh took off I got a good look at his feet above me
One with a scuffed boot in place, but the other was boot-free ...
And so I rushed back inside to savor the wonderful souvenir
Of quite a little adventure Santa had experienced right here

But when I returned inside and looked at the place in hearth
Where the boot had fallen earlier ... giving me quite a laugh
I heard the sound of a squirrel's chatter as it scurried away ...
Taking with it that long black shiny boot which'd gone astray

- Tristram

(c) Christopher W. Thomas
6:15pm Christmas Day Eve 98