Subject: Inside Your Chimney
From: Christopher W. Thomas (
Date: Wed Dec 2, 1998 at 6:35PM

For the second day in a row now I've had to deal

With squirrels coming down the chimney to meal
Upon whatever they could get hold of, in their teeth
Giving me just a wee bit more than a little grief ...

Yes, it's that time of year when squirrels start to nest
To prepare for the colder winter months soon to test
Both folks and animals, as we all start getting cosier
Looking for warm resting places, where it's rosier ...

But two days in a row is just a little more than enough
And regardless of how well I deal, I'm not that tough
And today's little adventure did not go quite so well ...
Testing me more than I care to be, and that's not swell

This time, the squirrel's scratches and bites shook me up
Prompting me to deal with the chimney right soon enough
Digging through all the layers of twigs, stones and dust ...
Climbing halfway up the chimney, amongst all the rust ...

Finally finding a stone ledge upon which I placed a board ...
Then covering it with fiberglass to fill the jagged edges sawed
Underneath which I jammed a piece of corrugated gutterpipe
To prop up the whole wedge and make sure it stayed tight ...

As I was going through all of these awkward machinations
The computer's screensaver's noises came to my attention
And it occurred to me how similar it was to the chattering
Employed by squirrels as they go about their nut-gathering

And then I realized it was the screensaver drawing them
For they heard, and sensed there were others at the end ...
Of my chimney flue, nesting here for the long winter ahead
So they wanted to be part of the party the screensaver led ...

- Tristram

(c) Christopher W. Thomas
6:30pm Wed. December 2nd, 1998